Mending Altars

“…its smell was pleasing to The Lord.” Leviticus 8:21

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A lot was on my mind this morning as I prepared for a time of reading and meditating on God’s Word. I was grateful to God. Tomorrow marks a year since the mild stroke that attacked me about a year ago. How I was doing – what I had lost and what I had gained. I was thinking about my weight, which I struggled to loose, in which God had granted me victory over in the first five months, and over which, I was now experiencing painful defeat. What was the use of fighting anymore? Nothing had really changed. I was singing, presumably to God, but my heart was elsewhere.

“Jesus answered, unless I wash you, you have no part with Me.” John 13:8

Suddenly a vision split through my mind as out of a terrible horror movie. I saw a woman, a ghostly woman with an upturned face as in worship, hands held before her, she opened her mouth as though to sing, and instead, a cloud of flies, black flies, hundreds of them streamed out of her. I was rebuked, I repented. I was raising unholy fires before God, and He had shown me exactly what He thought of it.

“You are not to do as we do here today, everyone doing as they see fit, since you have not yet reached your resting place and the inheritance The LORD your God is giving you…Be careful not to sacrifice your burnt offering anywhere you please. Offer them only in the place The LORD will choose…” Deuteronomy 12: 8, 13-14

We read through the books of Deuteronomy, 12 and 13 today, and what I got from God, was that He takes the lead in worship. I must present myself, in totality. He is not impressed by anything else, even if we are thinking of Him in a grateful way – He will show us where, and how to love Him and adore Him, by The Holy Spirit. God had been talking to me about repairing broken altars – His in my live, and in the lives of those around me, in His Kingdom. Many other things were taking His place in our lives, primarily the chase after the cleverly elusive Shilling. We were hungering for this more than for God. We felt that having it would solve all our problems, and the lack of it, was blamed on God, and for the many aches we were experiencing – just like last year, same time.

Then the entire family gathered before God at the end of the day. And as we would have it, God led us again to the theme of sacrifice, this time in Leviticus 8. I wondered what this sweet smell was. God taught me through my children. My life, our lives are an act of worship…one continuous act. Sometimes we worship God, in the best of times. But many times… God narrowed in particularly to the way I give. He has emphasised to me, that a man can only receive what is given to him from heaven. But His ‘challenge’ was, what happened with the messenger. How do we handle being message bearers from heaven to the man or woman. This broke me.

“But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” Luke 15:2

Much of the time, our altars are so broken, and we perceive the errand on God’s behalf as an injustice. The person we are being sent to is undeserving in our eyes, they do not conform to our ideals of what they as servants of God and recipients of His grace should. Sometimes we create stories about them, stretch threads, pick at these, to convince ourselves that God will overlook our half-hearted at best, and no hearted service to Him…because after all…they are offensive to us. So we give only part of what we have been sent to give, with a thorough put down to the recipient, that makes them weep and not rejoice over the gift they have received. Because it was wrapped in hateful insults to their integrity. And we turn away, and try to worship God, but we are like rotting flesh, giving off a stench that has cuddled into vermin that flows incessantly from our bellies.

“Our offering to God is this: We are the sweet smell of Christ, among those that are being saved and among those that are being lost.” 2 Corinthians 2:15

This message has been, for me, long. And I have a hunch, a strong one, that God is not done with it yet. But as I share what He has given me with someone, I hope that we would take time to go before Him, like Elijah did on Mount Carmel, and repair God’s altar in our lives. That His Fire would come from heaven and consume both us and our giving, because we have been found pleasing to Him, and that we would give off, a sweet smelling aroma to God in heaven, and the world around us.

Shalom.

vipslit@yahoo.ca

“So brothers and sisters, since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as living sacrifices to Him. Your offering must only be for God and pleasing to Him, which is the spiritual way for you to worship.” Romans 12:1

On Being A Secret

More often than not, we only want to remain a secret in our relationships, when our intentions are to selfish. “its ok, you are my sister/mother/wife/colleague/friend/in-law, but don’t let anyone else know…its not their business.” Most of us are hurt when it is demanded of us, to keep the fact of association…to remain ‘a secret’ by those we are related to, married to, work with, our friends and sometimes even our neighbors. It denotes a level of rejection that sears continually…it says in precise terms “I am ashamed to be associated with you, and would not like others to know of the fact.”

rejectedThose who demand this of you, shame you for acknowledging them publicly, for not wanting to be a secret anymore – but they would probably die first, before allowing themselves to be likewise hidden by those they hold in high esteem. I am sad to acknowledge that to very many, I am a secret…but not to God who understands this pain. And interestingly allows me, by example, to disassociate from those who do not wish to be identified with me…even though I still love, pray and long for them.

I agonized last night before God, asking Him, ‘Father, when the Morning Light comes, in the Magnificent Assembly and when we stand where all secrets are revealed before the nations, who will You say I am to You? Will it be what I believe I am to You?’ He heard me…He reminded me, that I am openly and to His pride, His Lover, Bride, Family, Friend, Employee, Kingdom-mate….He is not my Secret…and am not His. Is He yours?538719997_0e94c9b29a

vipslit@yahoo.ca

“For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory, and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.”
Christ Jesus in Luke 9:26 and Mark 8:38

“But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before My Father in heaven.” Christ Jesus in Mathew 10:33 an Luke 12:9

Trembling at The Word God

DSC08973This morning as I took a walk, my conversation with God was basically me shouting “I give up – I think I heard wrong – this is too, too painful, shameful and exhausting!!!!” and He kept saying “Trust in Me, do not give up, I have this.” But it was too hard, had been too long, it was getting darker and heavier instead of better…A friend, [a new bride who is in crutches after an accident that crushed her foot a month after her wedding], had just ‘WhatSupped’ me to find out about a certain situation in my life over which she was praying…and I had told her, and my pastor friend [who I woke up this morning] that I was quitting. She – they both said, “we will pray even harder.” Two other friends texted me from Isaiah 43:19 and John 16:33 [these had/still have no idea the import of their messages to me this morning]. And another to tell me that being low is not my portion.

Suddenly I sensed a desire to just LISTEN to one of my oldest and dearest friends. So to quiet the battle within me, I called her as I walked…for no particular reason. I was glad she was getting on fine…but she told me something that just stopped me, because it is a confirmation of what God has been telling me this past weekend “Vip, God is taking us through a time where we must honor His Word above our emotions.” Basically “Word over Emotion.” I have awesome friends! Thank You Lord – I still feel like quitting, but I WILL tremble at Your Word as You have assured me that You Who began this thing in me, are Faithful and You WILL complete it._NIK5654

Someone else is about to give up on a situation that has been sustained for a while by only The Word of God…It’s hard…makes no sense any more…That Word is enough. Please, lets not give up. I look forward to sitting next to You in Glory, and hearing the testimony you almost aborted today. Don’t Quit – Tremble at the Word of God.
Shalom

“But this is the man to whom I will look and have regard: he who is humble and of a broken or wounded spirit, and who trembles at My word and reveres My commands.” AMP

““The people I value are not proud.
They are sorry for the wrong things they have done.
They have great respect for what I say.” NIRV
Isaiah 66:2

vipslit@yahoo.ca

My Life – An Errand From God to God

DSC09497Where are you today? Do like being there? Would you prefer being somewhere else? Are ‘they’ treating you right? Would you wish they treated you, just a little bit better. I was thinking just the same of the place I was. But I have a Loving, Powerful, Gentle, Awesome and EXTREMELY WISE HEAVENLY FATHER.  His Words…they make sense out of what may seem senseless today. What if..just what if…my being where I am today, is a matter of life and death for someone…someone I am too self-focused to see right now?

Just so that THEY would KNOW FOR SURE that GOD IS PRESENT where you are, God may send YOU through humanly unconventional means, sometimes as a slave – well, almost. His Way may be humbling even ‘horrendous’ but I do myself well to remember that the entirety of my life is an errand from God to someone/people and then back to Him with fruit, that they may KNOW He cares about them and their situation. Your/my ‘small’ voice raised in love and truth may unsettle kings and kingdoms to turn their focus back to God. May He open my eyes to Who needs Him this day, that I may send them to Him, for the breakthrough that they need. Hear this, my prayer, Heavenly Father. Amen.

vipslit@yahoo.ca

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“The Syrians had gone out in bands and had brought away captive out of the land of Israel a little maid, and she waited on Naaman’s wife. She said to her mistress, Would that my lord were with the prophet who is in Samaria! For he would heal him of his leprosy. [Naaman] went in and told his king, Thus and thus said the maid from Israel…

And he brought the letter to the king of Israel. It said, When this letter comes to you, I will with it have sent to you my servant Naaman, that you may cure him of leprosy.When the king of Israel read the letter, he rent his clothes and said, Am I God, to kill and to make alive, that this man sends to me to heal a man of his leprosy? Just consider and see how he is seeking a quarrel with me. When Elisha the man of God heard that the king of Israel had rent his clothes, he sent to the king, asking, Why have you rent your clothes? Let Naaman come now to me and he shall know that there is a prophet in Israel…

Then he went down and dipped himself seven times in the Jordan, as the man of God had said, and his flesh was restored like that of a little child, and he was clean. Then Naaman returned to the man of God, he and all his company, and stood before him. He said, Behold, now I know that there is no God in all the earth but in Israel.”
1 Kings 5

The Forgotten Unforgetable

DSC08973Its been a hard week and am tired. And yet I am strangely energized. As I sat listening to God, I heard a voice say ‘go read Exodus 3′. I had been thinking about God hardening Pharaoh’s heart and setting him up for his eventual fall, as He delivered His people, so I thought Exodus 3 was about that. But God is not predictable. He had a new lesson to teach me.

The scene is set, a former prince, sits forgotten in the wilderness of Midian. A wilderness that had accepted him as its own, and even provided him with family. He sits as a son, tending his father-in-laws flock. Self-exiled, murderer, rejected by his natural and first adoptive people. Its interesting to note that God did not run out of options in terms of providing another family to accept Moses, take him as their own. He sits and then sees a sight and goes to investigate it, and we are told that God noticed that he noticed, and therefore spoke to him. Of cause God already knew Moses would.

Moses probably wanted to forget his name and his people. Something that is bound to happen when we are disappointed with our birth family and nation. But God had a purpose for all this, and time came for this old man to manifest His growth and maturity in relation to God. it was time to go back, and be the answer that those who had turned their backs on him last time he did them a favor, needed. ‘Why isn’t it someone else’ responsibility LORD – someone who is more favorably disposed towards them? Someone they hold in regard? Why me? I am forgotten – and if anyone remembers me, its probably not really a pleasant memory.”

There may be times when you and I feel hunted down, hidden or forgotten. When God speaks a Wondrous Word to us, we wonder if He has the wrong address, or if it could be possible, that just this once, the All Knowing, All Wise, Almighty God could make a mistake with us. Worse, you have so forgotten where God had you before, and with that, your own ‘name’. I thank God that He NEVER forgets His Name, and our ‘namelessness‘ is irrelevant to where He is taking us, and what He will do with us, in His time. The TRUTH and FACT that He is with us, gives us all we need for the journey. Your wilderness experience has a timing, held in The Hand of Him Who is Above the Law He created – and is Holy – APART from us. Let us go with His Thoughts…that is the only way, we will get anywhere. Look what He did with Moses – the forgotten became UNFORGETTABLE.

Shalom

vipslit@yahoo.ca

“And Moses said to God, Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?…And God said to Moses, I Am Who I Am and What I Am, and I Will Be What I Will Be; and He said, You shall say this to the Israelites: I Am has sent me to you!”
Exodus 3

Travelling A Cut Away From the Norm

This morning, I was trying to get from one end of Nairobi, to another, using a short-cut – which sometimes, as in this case, refers to an un-finished road branching away from the main tarmac road that presumably has all the traffic. I noticed that the car in front of us had sped on and we kept catching up with the dust it left in its wake. I could not see the one behind me, but one must have been there, at a distant, catching up with ‘our’ dust. And then there were the vehicles on the opposite lane…with their dust. Most times, from my vantage point on the back seat, I could not see the way ahead. The driver was calm, I was not. He gently reassured me that nothing bad would happen to us, that was not meant to happen, as he could see the road ahead.

It struck me then, that life’s like that. Especially when you take the road less traveled; there is usually someone who did it before, and sometimes…they blow ‘dust’ on your face. Then there are those who are travelling the opposite direction – these also affect your progress, by the amount of dust they may blow on your line of vision. It all depends on WHO is behind the wheel of your life, how well they know the road you are on, and your comfort at any one time on your ability to trust them to get you ‘there’ safely.

Like Job of old I declare today, that “But He knows the way that I take [He has concern for it, appreciates, and pays attention to it]. When He has tried me, I shall come forth as refined gold [pure and luminous]. My foot has held fast to His steps; His ways have I kept and not turned aside.” 23:10-11

and I adopted Carrie Underwood’s prayer ” Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
‘Cause I can’t do this on my own
I’m letting go
So give me one more chance
Just save me from this road I’m on
Jesus, take the wheel”

vipslit@yahoo.ca

My Miracles

photo 10The last two days have been some of the lowest I have gone through in my life as a Mom. I had hoped to be able to send my children to college, but it did not work out that way. God remains Good, and on top of this and the other circumstances in my life. My daughter has been really down over this, and more discouraged than I have even known her to be – please pray for her, when she comes to your mind. Leroy on the other hand, has been down with Malaria and Typhoid and up as Mami’s helper in spite of this. He lost his place in college last year due to arrears. God remains Good, and on top of this and other circumstances in our lives. I don’t really know if am over this, I am not sure since there is an ache in my throat, in my belly and somewhere in my chest as I move around. Feeling unable to provide for your child – even the basics, is something I would not wish for someone who has hurt me badly. But that’s not what this post is about. Its a happy heartache post.

So spent yesterday standing on my knees, crying out to God in every way I knew how to…to spare my children from this one…but He allowed for it to happen and having walked with God for a long time, I know He comes in a cloud sometimes -in the best of times. I asked God for a miracle and He blessed me with one. Last night, I went into my daughter’s room to pray with her, because she is at a point where she is not able to pray anymore. She had spent the day with my brother and my dear sister in love Irene, but once home, the gloom of her circumstances just basically descended on her. So, I listen, I talked, I prayed, and then I listened and put of her lights and went to the living room to pray with my Guys. Leroy went first, and I steeled my heart waiting for a complaint…IMG_3533

“Our Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for this day. Thank You providing for us food to eat, a place to stay and water. We are grateful. Please, I want to pray for the teachers. Please let them be paid their money so that they can go back to school and teach the other children. Please also look after the doctors and nurses so that they can go back to work in the hospitals so that people do not have to die anymore. I bless this prayer in Jesus Name, Amen.

I am blessed to be a mother, I am blessed to be their mother, for better of for worse. So, the day that began with a drizzle of tears, ended with a waterfall. A child had led me, a child I had borne, had taught me that there were big issues also, outside our house. I learnt, Humbled. Keep us in your prayers…Keep us still in your prayers. We will walk God’s itinerary, and grow how He would have us grow, Because He knows the way, He is The Way, and that Way is Good. Shalom.

vipslit@yahoo.ca

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