Healing Immobility: My Reflections on John 5: 1-15


At the beginning of this year, I realized yet again, how much easier it had been for me to read the Old Testament and the Letters, than it had been the Gospels. I realized that my patterning my life after the life of Christ,  the Definer of my Faith – its Architect was compromised if I did not know His Mind, His Heart, and find out if He had a soul. I have on occasion heard others ask the question “How do you know that it is God Who is speaking to you?”  and the words ‘His sheep know His voice and follow Him, they would never follow a stranger” kept ringing in my mind. I realized the obvious – that God was not satisfied with the depth of intimacy I had with Him – and therein was the crux of the matter. He asked me to fill my mind with Him, to learn His voice and His Person, by reading and studying the gospels and looking out for things that had been seen as well as things not yet seen; but that He had said. I must confess, that for me, this has become a mission: To Know and follow my Lord and my Savior Jesus Christ.

Immobility for me has been a challenge. I know I am supposed to be further than I am, both in Heavenly things as in earthly things. His challenge to me yesterday, was on how I expected Him to effect the spiritual in my life when, I challenged and rebelled against His intent, His Mind, His revelations for the natural. The ordinary. [Re: John 3:12]

Like the man at the Pool of Mercy, I confess that I have been rendered immobile by the unfulfilled expectations I had of others – God and myself included. If you asked me the reason for the level of education, career, giftedness, relationship status etc – I would have an answer that made ‘someone’ responsible for my destiny. Sometimes it was that ‘the others’ were more aggressive [positively or negatively so], others had received undue favor when I was next in line, others had sidelined/compromised etc me. I am not saying here that they were right in doing so – they must face God on their own, but that it is really none of my business that they did – and definitely not worth more than a second of my focus. The second it takes to acknowledge and forgive – for they have no clue what they do. Not if it removed my focus from folding my mat and moving, not if it kept me glued to a place of public pity for the rest of my life. No offense or grudge is worth the ‘pricelessness’ of my life and destiny.

Steps to Healing/Success etc: Like the man at the pool I had bought into the lie that a particular thing needed to happen, possibly catalyzed by another human being for me to move gradually from passive anger to active contentment. Meanwhile, I would ‘lie there’ right next to the pool and wait for someone else to ‘get their priorities straight and sort my life out’. How many times had I cried in the night – more in the day, because someone had dismissed the intensity of my hopelessness to focus on something or other? How many times had I accused them of not caring enough, not taking the less than a minute necessary to help me into the pool when the waters stirred? How many times had someone come from the back of the line, on the wings of friendship or association, and overtaken me towards the goal I lived for? How many times had my own wisdom, gained from being a first hand witness of the miracles in that pool of mercy encouraged another into it, emerging with the trophy I so desired? As the years went on, as I moved towards the low life expectancy goal, I resigned myself to the illusion that I would not make it and that my role in life was only to be a ladder and submit my back for others to climb on to their destiny – and that it was wrong for me to want more.

You see I had learned that a miracle is so defined because it defies the laws of nature. And each life that touched mine or visa-vie, was in actuality a miracle. Each breakthrough an extension of the same. With unlived time left I sat there perplexed at the mountain of wisdom demonstrated by each data molecule in that sea of Mercy [management books, inspirational guides, effective prayers, mind change techniques, inspirational songs/quotes/etc] man made cisterns that defied the five pillars of God’s Grace that Held up the covered colonnades that shielded the colony of the immobile from the extremity of ridicule from their moving, mountain conquering tribes-folk. What time did I have to go through all that data, let alone implement it, before my next two years were up.

Then God shows up. ‘Vip do you really want to get well?’. Not knowing the voice of the One that spoke, I respond resignedly, staring with blank intent at the mountainous pool  of knowledge that I had been told was necessary for me to even begin to walk ‘You can see I am not attractive enough, not the right weight, don’t come from the right community, barred from certain social classes, no longer have the benefit of youth, have been let down by my connections, have been repeatedly swindled of time and money and affection, etc, etc… and I don’t think I have the memory space to absorb all that I need to before my time is up – and no committed associations to help me accelerate the process…etc etc’. Without seeming to hear my pathetic tirade, The Voice said simply, Get up, take up your mat/tress and get moving. You have ground to cover, and ground you can cover. Only one thing is needed, stop resisting my voice – stop dedicating memory space to useless contemplation that keeps you immobile, just be like a child and respond to My instruction. You are well My friend.

And because I would on occasion need to rest at the end of my travelling days, I fold my mat and begin to walk, and the wisdom in my life is sharpened, recreated by the fact that my life is a testimony of its truth… I am walking, I have met The One that cured my lethargy, and the strength of my stride is a testimony of the fact that He saw me as I was, gave me what I needed, and THEN, ONLY THEN, named His demands of me, because He had given me the hope, courage and ability, to live them. What is your story?

Shallom

vipslt@yahoo.ca

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About viphealthyleadership
I am a friend of God, who loves to listen to, and talk to Him and write to and through Him. My prayer concerns revolve mainly around homes and nations, and how Christ's wounded warriors can arise and get involved again in the building of these and in the repairwork needed to restore these to their God-intended glory. I believe that true and effective leadership, can only come from those who have been wounded, recognised their wounds for what they are, and have allowed God to heal these and make them stronger in loving the ones they would lead. I am a single mother of two: Leroy and Shukurani.

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