Large Black Crows in The Wilderness

Worship this morning was extra sacrificial and after much battle. I had woken up to Pastor Jon Courson’s exposition on Romans 7:15-24[see full text below]. What caught my attention was his definition of what a carnal Christian is – as opposed to a real or Holy Spirit led Christian. He said that whenever many Christians thought about a carnal Christian, they immediately perceived someone who was still doing things that were considered un-Christ like. He said this was only partly true. He said that if the energy of living our lives was derived from the flesh, then we were unfortunately, still carnal. In other words, if my obedience to the call to follow Christ depended on my feelings, then I was unfortunately still carnal. I hope this helps someone…it certainly did me.

Anyway, am there on my knees, journal, Bible, prayer books and the books am reading all around me, ready to worship and what is hindering me? The offences of the saints. So I keep repenting. And forgiving. And I begin to focus on God’s Person, then another offence drops into my spirit. Eventually I stop singing and am like “God, I surely cannot go this way without You. You must help me.” And then worship begins. And with the breakthrough, The Creator of the Universe takes on my thoughts and I break into vision. I see myself walking towards the gate of Homecare Fellowship Premises, for a prayer meeting, that turns out to be a Transform Kenya prayer meeting [I am just now, at 6:30pm noticing on Facebook, that it is Transform Kenya’s Birthday]. I hesitate at the gate, for a second wondering if they will receive me, but then I am urged through by unseen Hands. In my vision, the meeting flows long and the prayer room is bright. Like someone put on floodlights. Then there is fellowship after the prayers, and I start leaving the room, because I hate travelling at night, and I need to walk some dark paths and transit at least thrice, to get home safely. But God reminds me in the vision, that I now have faith to believe Him to get home without making one single step. Amazing! So I fellowship some more and then I hear my thoughts say to me ‘I wish I was home already’. And I disappear from the midst of God’s people but when I get to my neighborhood, it is dark in a bizarre way. Like at the beginning of those horror movies I have always hated. None of my neighbors’ lights are on. And I search frantically for just one light in the place I now live in. I try to enter it and be the light but God keeps me out saying “It has been decided”

  I turn as though to go away. Understanding in a way, that I no longer live there. Then I notice the many Large Crows pecking at the walls and windows of what used to be my apartment block [in the natural, it still is]. And a voice challenges me, a whisper that I almost miss in that terrible darkness “How do you just walk away and leave the place as it is”. I begin to intercede, God please change Your Mind about this place, let there be Light Lord please! Have Mercy Lord.” Then I hear the voice say again, ‘It has been decided!”. In my heart of hearts, I just know that this is judgment, and that this place has worked hard to earn it, but, I KNOW my God! I KNOW His Heart! So again still hanging suspended above it all, and not even able to see my own body, I cry out “Lord, You Yourself brought me here. I did not even know it existed before. Remember how I obeyed you and prayed over the building when it was just my children and I living there. I obeyed you back then for three months! Then you brought these people and caused my heart to love each one of them. And though they have often stabbed me, though I know their ways, that they are not really my true friends, my heart still loves them God. You led me to them, to show them You. Have I failed You? Did I fail in my ministry to them?” And I hear The Voice say to me “Remember My Ministry to you and to them? What did I hold back from you and them? And yet you know how often I Am rejected by them. So, No, you have not failed Me in your service to Me. They have refused to receive Me and rejected you my friend as well. Let it be. It has been decided.”

“For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.” Romans 8:7

At this point, I still don’t understand what ‘had been decided’, I just knew it was not something good. So I asked again “Is there a limit to Your Grace Lord? Why would You give up on these? I have always known that Your Grace is infinite as is Your love for us. Do You not love them anymore? Is there actually an end to Your Love and Grace?” And suddenly there is a ‘lifting’. I sense my tent is folded. That God is leading me on. But that He has not left them. I feel His Smile as He in turn challenges me gently, “Vip, you fight with so much faith for these, for all broken and dead relationships no matter how long they have been buried, for your nation. You fight for these believing that My Love and Grace is more than sufficient. You fight for those you do not know. Knowing that I Am God both nearby and far away. How come then, you absolutely do not believe that my grace is sufficient for your own blood family and those you have loved like they were your own blood?”

Technical knock-out I tell you!!! God absolutely knows how to take one’s breath away! I remain kneeling there on the floor leaning on my bed. Silenced. And my mind goes on to expound for me, how I rarely give up on those who I have loved, except if they are family. I do not understand the pain that family inflicts, it’s too much. They should know you best, but often they know you least. And when they hurt you, they use their dirtiest and meanest weapons, AND THEN expect you to forgive and completely forget. And for some reason, they never quite seem to live up to your expectations of their roles in your life hmmmmm…You know that don’t you, you are family or part of one? Just like me…  I realized that I process all other pain, no matter what it has involved, but when family hurt me, I dropped it and walked on. Not willing to fight battles I was never able to understand in the first place. I remember too that I made this resolution after I magnificently rose up to battle many, many, times and ended up wounding myself more deeply than the one I was trying to defend myself before. I was no longer fit enough to survive their wounds so I had chosen the best way – in my mind – barricade myself in a place where it no longer mattered: None of it. I watched renewed attempts to irk me, harm me, agitate me like a distant spectator, checking that my armor, particularly my shield and breastplate were in place.  And then I wondered at God’s punch here…hadn’t He been with me the last 42 years that are my time here on earth so far? Aiii…then His peace settled over me. He was calling me beyond the veil, where my feelings were of little consequence – beyond carnality. Where I may or may never be able to appear and disappear at will, but where I lived His greatest miracle of all: The miracle of fearless purity of love and forgiveness. Would I follow Him here too?

Flash-forward, later in the day, I am still trying to find out what the spiritual meaning of crows in the Bible is. I share my concerns eventually with my close friend Martha. She listens to me and then says to me “Vip, we have paid the price we have been called to, in order to take this journey. To follow God. 2012 I believe is going to be a good year simply because of the terror that was 2011. We will review this on December 31st this year. You are my second friend to dream of crows. My friend dreamt that there were crows in our parking lot here, where we live. I will find out what they symbolize according God’s Mind, but I want you to remember how far God has brought you. That you are close to the end. And that the enemy wants to make sure that you do not receive yours by scattering you with the spirit of offence. Guard against this. It works most of the time amongst us Christians and keeps many Christians from finishing their race. We are victorious, so guard your heart against the spirit of offense.” She was going into a meeting so we could not finish this phone conversation. She left me with scripture to ponder on.

And then many will be offended and repelled and will begin to distrust and desert [Him Whom they ought to trust and obey] and will stumble and fall away and betray one another and pursue one another with hatred. And many false prophets will rise up and deceive and lead many into error. And the love of  the great body of people will grow cold because of the multiplied lawlessness and iniquity, But he who endures to the end will be saved.”  Jesus Christ in Mathew 24:10-13

And I wrote my covenant down on my journal. “LORD, I KNOW You are Right, and I am wrong. Your grace is limitless for my family too, as is Your love for each one of us. And I will stand in the gap. I will follow You even here.” This day…God has lit a His Light. And nothing hides in the dark…even the huge black crows. It has been decided.

Romans 7:15-24 “For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled, bewildered]. I do not practice or accomplish what I wish, but I do the very thing that I loathe [[b]which my moral instinct condemns]. Now if I do [habitually] what is contrary to my desire, [that means that] I acknowledge and agree that the Law is good (morally excellent) and that I take sides with it. However, it is no longer I who do the deed, but the sin [principle] which is at home in me and has possession of me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot perform it. [I have the intention and urge to do what is right, but no power to carry it out.]

For I fail to practice the good deeds I desire to do, but the evil deeds that I do not desire to do are what I am [ever] doing. Now if I do what I do not desire to do, it is no longer I doing it [it is not myself that acts], but the sin [principle] which dwells within me [fixed and operating in my soul].So I find it to be a law (rule of action of my being) that when I want to do what is right and good, evil is ever present with me and I am subject to its insistent demands.

For I endorse and delight in the Law of God in my inmost self [with my new nature]. But I discern in my bodily members [in the sensitive appetites and wills of the flesh] a different law (rule of action) at war against the law of my mind (my reason) and making me a prisoner to the law of sin that dwells in my bodily organs []in the sensitive appetites and wills of the flesh]. O unhappy and pitiable and wretched man that I am! Who will release and deliver me from [the shackles of] this body of death? Amplified Bible

 2 Corinthians 2:3 “And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing.”

Romans 1: 18-20 “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.”

About viphealthyleadership
I am a friend of God, who loves to listen to, and talk to Him and write to and through Him. My prayer concerns revolve mainly around homes and nations, and how Christ's wounded warriors can arise and get involved again in the building of these and in the repairwork needed to restore these to their God-intended glory. I believe that true and effective leadership, can only come from those who have been wounded, recognised their wounds for what they are, and have allowed God to heal these and make them stronger in loving the ones they would lead. I am a mother of two: Leroy and Shukurani and a grandmother of one - Giovanni Gett.

7 Responses to Large Black Crows in The Wilderness

  1. Crysloves says:

    Perry Stone ‘How to Interpret DREAMS and VISIONS

    Object: Bird(s)s

    First Reference: Genesis 15:10 – Abraham sacrifices birds without dividing them on the altar.

    Possible meanings: In the Bible, birds are not always viewed positively. When birds ate the food from the basket on the head of the banker, Joseph said the head of the man would be removed by Pharaoh and the birds would east his flesh (Gen. 40:17-22). In New Testament parable of the sower and the seed, the birds come to eat the seed as soon as it is planted in the heart of a person. Christ said these “fowls” (birds) were evil spirits (Mark 4:1-2:0). Birds eating seed can represent something that is attempting to steal the Word from your heart. Birds are also used as a metaphor for evil spirits (Rev.18-2)
    In a dream, if a bird is picking at your flesh, either through temptation or through physical ailment. If a bird is pecking your home, it can refer to something or someone working their way into your home that will become a problem for you later.

    • And thieves came last week….

    • Sis Just got this as well, confirms yours

      Crow/Raven = Confusion: outspoken person; person operating under/out of a spirit of envy or strife, which causes confusion and disorder;) hateful; depression; grief; death; suicide; straight path/direct route (‘as the crow flies;’) God’s minister(s) of justice or provision.
      James 3:16, Isaiah 34:11, Psalm 35:26, Proverbs 30:17

      And its been true…I am praying…

  2. Adhis says:

    Hi Vip, profound. Mine has been the opposite of your experience..believing easier and processing family pain than ‘friendly fire’ 🙂 I cut off and easily walk away from friends who offend me than family. May He help me walk through to forgiveness and love even for those ‘faraway’ souls.

  3. I have never seen crows in my dreams; probably I did see them and forgot. I have seen things like cats or dogs or snakes or frogs- but I took this to mean negative messages. I prayed more at such times considering there might be an attack on my life.

    I would certainly put crows in the same category- we frown on crows and owls and cranes in my culture. That certainly influences my perception in certain ways. I do not have a lot of wisdom on this one though. I will watch out for what other brothers and sisters say about this.

    • My brother…so the crows have began to manifest. In the worst way. Our building was broken into last week, and this night, yet another family is facing an eviction. They are to move to an unfinished building, where the rent is one quater of what we pay here, there is no security, no water, no electricity. The manipulation of spirits is at an all time high…but I am still, and learning that God is LORD. The story of Esther has encouraged me…who knows, perhaps I have remained here for such a time as this, a dark time with death circling in many way around the hood…but assured that God is working out His salvation and I had better stand and be counted. If you remember me, please stand in the prayer gap for us. God bless you….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: