Negative Words of Hope

Maybe you have looked at your life lately and noticed that all your pillars seem to be falling apart. Sometimes its NOT about preparing your ground for a ripe harvest and beautiful new season. Sometimes, you need to make peace with God, who is as Terrible as He is Merciful. I learnt the following today, with a heart that trembled at His Words as I journey through the book of Ezekiel (25 & 26). I hope you read with a listening, and submissive heart…towards God.
If you,
1. have been privileged at one time or other, to be within an intimate circle of trust or vision with a child of God whether as a family, friend, colleague, fellow minister and pilgrim, media consumer and…
2. felt satisfied with the destruction of a called one, or nation, or tribe who had rebelled against God “… Because you said, ‘Aha!’ against My sanctuary when it was profaned, and against the land of Israel when it was desolate,”
3. Rejoiced gleefully when you witnessed God’s dealing with one of His own in judgement, to despise them… “Because you clapped your hands, stamped your feet, and rejoiced in heart with all your disdain for the land of Israel.”
4. Made nonsense of God’s election of a particular person on group of people during the time of their distress, to pronounce them as common, not really special etc ““Because Moab and Seir say, ‘Look! The house of Judah is like all the nations,”
5. took advantage of a person’s or group of person’s distress when God’s favor seemed to desert them, to avenge yourself of real or imagined/fabricated wrongdoing at this time, i.e. kicking them while they were down. You believed them hated and unprotected of God because of their predicament in the land and added to their pain due to your previous disapproval of them…”Because of what Edom did against the house of Judah by taking vengeance, and has greatly offended by avenging itself on them…Because the Philistines dealt vengefully and took vengeance with a spiteful heart, to destroy because of the old hatred,”
You need to seriously consider making peace with God. When a loving parent disciplines their child to draw them back to himself or herself, there is appropriate response by witnesses, and this never includes, picking up crude artillery against them, trying to fan the parent’s anger, trying to convince the child that their parent no longer loves them and they are strangers to them, or even stomping them down with your heavy duty boots to rid the parent of their obvious disappointment at their child. If you do these…it is against you the parent will unleash His anger…without leaving their child un-taught. God is not dysfunctional as God, Father, Leader, and in all His Sovereignty. You need to make peace with God…believe Him to be The Best Parent you have ever had the privilege of coming across…There is yet another group that God’s Hand is Targeting
6. If you have ever seen the destruction of someone else, a nation, organisation, business, ministry, marriage, family, friendship, as an opportunity to exalt yourself into a place of privilege, especially when these were ordained and established in God, for you there will be a special hell on earth. People will come from high places to tremble at your own descent for it will be obvious that God has dealt Himself against you. Ezekiel 26 “…because Tyre has said against Jerusalem, ‘Aha! She is broken who was the gateway of the peoples; now she is turned over to me; I shall be filled; she is laid waste.”
God’s paternity is not seasonal…let us return to Him to request that He amputates, and delivers us of that stubborn limb in us that perpetually seeks and rejoices in the shaming and destruction of others…or else…you will know Him as God, as you feel His Hand turned against you.

Why Even Pray for Them?

There are many reasons to STOP PRAYING for them, genuine, just reasons. Ones that anyone would understand. Primarily, they don’t really think that its useful…and besides, why would Almighty God even stop to listen to someone of whom they think so little, as they do you? I mean, they have it more together. What could you possibly have to tell God on their behalf, that they would not do better on their own – or at least someone else they think is more suitable? They may cause you great harm even to stop you from praying…and gather enough around them to make them feel right about doing so.

God has given me many reasons why I should CONTINUE PRAYING for them. Its not for their applause really…never has been about that. But more about His intent…His True Heart…”For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” John 3:17 NKJV and “The Lord does not delay [as though He were unable to act] and is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is [extraordinarily] patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 2:9 AMP. It got me thinking, that when I want anything else for someone God created, am desiring contrary to Him…and what does that make me if not an anti-Christ? Hmmm

So this morning He gave me, reminded me, of one more reason to pray for…my family, my friends,, my neighbors, my country, my world, my employer, my colleagues, and yes, even the ones who hate me so much, they would not want me mentioning their names lovingly before God. If I don’t, if I am the only one able to, or even willing to and I don’t, and anything happens to them that could have been prevented by my praying…heavy responsibility…but in His own words…” “I looked for someone to stand up for Me against all this, to repair the defenses of the city, to take a stand for Me and stand in the gap to protect this land so I wouldn’t have to destroy it. I couldn’t find anyone. Not one. So I’ll empty out My wrath on them, burn them to a crisp with My hot anger, serve them with the consequences of all they’ve done. Decree of God, the Master.”
Ezekiel 22:31-32 The Message (MSG)

Elevated mis-Adjudications

“Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand.” Romans 14:4NKJV


I strolled into the balcony earlier this morning, with a stool in one hand so I could breath…perhaps more accurately, so I could get some air into my head. And it worked. I stood on the stool and idly looked around the hood from an even more heightened vantage point.

I noticed that my neighbor had some men over to rebuild his wall. He had brought it down about three weeks ago to allow for the digging of a bore-hole in front of his gate. The three men were doing awesome work, from my vantage. They were also raised considerably from the ground and were plastering and measuring and really getting Tassia’s black cotton dust all over them. I noticed another man, cleaning up the road. Picking up papers and lighting small fires to burn them. He is not an employee but a good samaritan. My son Leroy opened the gate, noticed him, and quietly but resolutely went to join him in this task.That’s when the air began swirling round my head…for you see, as his mother, I should know a thing or two about him, right?

Anyway, I immediately installed myself as his supervisor. After all, I was standing on a stool on an elevated balcony, and am his mother right? I suddenly noticed seven small pieces of white paper that, as far as I was concerned, would the determine the success of his mission. He missed them every time, but what I failed to focus on, was that, from his vantage point, he was able to see and deal with a lot of rubbish. Including, ahem, my attempts at supervising him. After a while I kept quiet but continued to anxiously watch for him, willing him with all of my heart and blood pressure to notice the seven pieces of white paper. Suddenly this all seemed very familiar to me…I was Leroy. I heard God rebuke me saying, “let the lad be. You did not ask him to do this work, I did. I did not send you out to supervise, and you definitely have not been qualified by Me to adjudicate or  determine his success. Only I can do that.”

Okay, I figured out too, that since I had noticed the seven pieces of white paper that Leroy kept missing, it was probably my job to go down there and pick them up. So let’s just say, there was an air-leak in my head as Wisdom set in and settled quietly. The little fires have died down as I thought through this, and wrote it down, and the jarring existent of the seven pieces of white paper, can not change the fact that Leroy did something lovingly, as best as he knew how to. The area around our house and across the road looks a lot better than it did before he stepped in. I am proud of him.

I learned that I can not disqualify who I cannot qualify. I can only evaluate a project based on its set objectives and including the presenting challenges – when these have been presented to me and I have been blessed with the soundness of mind and wisdom to do so. I also learnt that sometimes we erroneously feel that just because we have done something before, or know the person who is doing it relatively well in our opinion (which may not actually be true) we automatically qualify to vet those who are bent over to the task. Just because I define success one way, does not always make it true, not even most of the time. Finally, that just because someone is perched at a higher point, it does not give them the whole true picture of what is on the ground. A more realistic assessment is made by those actually doing the work – without really ruling out the truth of that higher view.

As I go out to pick out the seven pieces of white paper, I continue to learn from this scene. I hope this helps someone else, even if its just one person.

This morning’s lesson is both humbling and comforting. When we get too much air in our heads, we get light-headed, and are in no position to judge weightier matters.




I spent last night and early this morning at a labor ward with a close friend whose husband was away on a trip. The labor ward has a lot of lessons for those who wait in prayer in The LORD.

I learnt that because you get in first, does not mean that you get out first or at all, or even get blessed first. Sometimes, one looses their expectation at this crucial time.

I learnt that, in the labor ward, modesty of dress and manner is really not priority. The less you have on, the easier it is to remove, the better you will be attended to. Ignore those that mock you in your birthing hour…they are the ones who are inappropriate.

I learnt that when you pray for release, and the pain seems to increase, and your groans seem to choke up your prayers, God is still in charge, and at His exact timing, He answers your prayer according to His Will.

I learnt that sometimes the more human assistance you require and receive at this crucial place of birthing, the longer it takes you to heal from the trauma of it all.

I learnt that when you hold the answer to your prayers in your arms, it is often very difficult to remember what you just went through, and if you focus on the past, it keeps you from enjoying and worshiping God for the breakthrough you have received.

I learnt that something you go through may be potentially fatal, but does no harm to you or your blessing – but one may be harmed in seeming safety.

I learnt that you may be in the same situation with another in the ward, even groan at the very same time, but that even when someone is there to hold you, the pain still is very personal…and cannot be numbed simply by being in like company.

I learnt, that God raises who He Wills to intercede for your birthing experience, that others may want to be there for you, but are kept out because He is The Writer of your story.

I learnt that the intercessor will notice others that suffer like you, but because they are called to stand with you, they can not stand with the others there too. Not in the way they are with you anyway.

I learnt that you may know its time, the intercessor may know its time, but it is God who moves the mountains to work in agreement with His timing for you. You cannot make it happen, because though there for you, there are not really there for you…but for themselves.

I learnt that in labor ward, it helps to focus on the task of birthing. Just that.

I am grateful that God raised me, and strengthened me and moved me to be in a place of His revelation, then rested me afterwards.

To Climb a Tree

I got thinking today, seeing in my mind the rich and powerful people I know, have heard of or seen from a distance, and imagined them, one by one, hoisting themselves up a tree for a better few of…okay, think of the ones you know, unless they are actors or environmentalists, what would they be doing up there? It would be more plausible for them to shove their way to the front, or get their security to do it for them so that they would get a better view. And then I thought of a group of rich and/or powerful men all trying to get a glimpse of the same thing, live. That would be even worse…a cloud of security would probably make it impossible for their bosses to get a glimpse.
Short Zacchaeus was in such a situation. He was rich, he was powerful, but the pharisees and the disciples seemed more fitted for a close up with Jesus Christ. This was not his crowd, and it was likely that they would not hesitate to remind him of the fact. Among this sort, his position was despicable…because you see, they thought they knew him well. The source of his wealth was, fishy, so they felt it was their duty to protect God and heaven from the likes of him. Even without knowing they were doing it. But this did not numb his keen hunger, to see Christ, and say to Him what only He could hear, understand, appreciate and mitigate.
So he did something that could mostly be associated with a child, or someone who life had drained of anything they could loose. He was both. And because the Kingdom of Heaven belonged to such as he, The LORD of Heaven, ‘heard’ his faith, his hunger, and saw him shed all, that he might have a glimpse of Him. And Jesus, spoke above the cloud that hindered Him from getting to Him, and then drew Him forth that they might fellowship together.
“let the LITTLE children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, ANYONE who WILL NOT receive The Kingdom of God like a LITTLE CHILD will NEVER enter it.” Luke 18:15-17

My Life – An Errand From God to God

DSC09497Where are you today? Do like being there? Would you prefer being somewhere else? Are ‘they’ treating you right? Would you wish they treated you, just a little bit better. I was thinking just the same of the place I was. But I have a Loving, Powerful, Gentle, Awesome and EXTREMELY WISE HEAVENLY FATHER.  His Words…they make sense out of what may seem senseless today. What if..just what if…my being where I am today, is a matter of life and death for someone…someone I am too self-focused to see right now?

Just so that THEY would KNOW FOR SURE that GOD IS PRESENT where you are, God may send YOU through humanly unconventional means, sometimes as a slave – well, almost. His Way may be humbling even ‘horrendous’ but I do myself well to remember that the entirety of my life is an errand from God to someone/people and then back to Him with fruit, that they may KNOW He cares about them and their situation. Your/my ‘small’ voice raised in love and truth may unsettle kings and kingdoms to turn their focus back to God. May He open my eyes to Who needs Him this day, that I may send them to Him, for the breakthrough that they need. Hear this, my prayer, Heavenly Father. Amen.


“The Syrians had gone out in bands and had brought away captive out of the land of Israel a little maid, and she waited on Naaman’s wife. She said to her mistress, Would that my lord were with the prophet who is in Samaria! For he would heal him of his leprosy. [Naaman] went in and told his king, Thus and thus said the maid from Israel…

And he brought the letter to the king of Israel. It said, When this letter comes to you, I will with it have sent to you my servant Naaman, that you may cure him of leprosy.When the king of Israel read the letter, he rent his clothes and said, Am I God, to kill and to make alive, that this man sends to me to heal a man of his leprosy? Just consider and see how he is seeking a quarrel with me. When Elisha the man of God heard that the king of Israel had rent his clothes, he sent to the king, asking, Why have you rent your clothes? Let Naaman come now to me and he shall know that there is a prophet in Israel…

Then he went down and dipped himself seven times in the Jordan, as the man of God had said, and his flesh was restored like that of a little child, and he was clean. Then Naaman returned to the man of God, he and all his company, and stood before him. He said, Behold, now I know that there is no God in all the earth but in Israel.”
1 Kings 5

The Forgotten Unforgetable

DSC08973Its been a hard week and am tired. And yet I am strangely energized. As I sat listening to God, I heard a voice say ‘go read Exodus 3’. I had been thinking about God hardening Pharaoh’s heart and setting him up for his eventual fall, as He delivered His people, so I thought Exodus 3 was about that. But God is not predictable. He had a new lesson to teach me.

The scene is set, a former prince, sits forgotten in the wilderness of Midian. A wilderness that had accepted him as its own, and even provided him with family. He sits as a son, tending his father-in-laws flock. Self-exiled, murderer, rejected by his natural and first adoptive people. Its interesting to note that God did not run out of options in terms of providing another family to accept Moses, take him as their own. He sits and then sees a sight and goes to investigate it, and we are told that God noticed that he noticed, and therefore spoke to him. Of cause God already knew Moses would.

Moses probably wanted to forget his name and his people. Something that is bound to happen when we are disappointed with our birth family and nation. But God had a purpose for all this, and time came for this old man to manifest His growth and maturity in relation to God. it was time to go back, and be the answer that those who had turned their backs on him last time he did them a favor, needed. ‘Why isn’t it someone else’ responsibility LORD – someone who is more favorably disposed towards them? Someone they hold in regard? Why me? I am forgotten – and if anyone remembers me, its probably not really a pleasant memory.”

There may be times when you and I feel hunted down, hidden or forgotten. When God speaks a Wondrous Word to us, we wonder if He has the wrong address, or if it could be possible, that just this once, the All Knowing, All Wise, Almighty God could make a mistake with us. Worse, you have so forgotten where God had you before, and with that, your own ‘name’. I thank God that He NEVER forgets His Name, and our ‘namelessness‘ is irrelevant to where He is taking us, and what He will do with us, in His time. The TRUTH and FACT that He is with us, gives us all we need for the journey. Your wilderness experience has a timing, held in The Hand of Him Who is Above the Law He created – and is Holy – APART from us. Let us go with His Thoughts…that is the only way, we will get anywhere. Look what He did with Moses – the forgotten became UNFORGETTABLE.


“And Moses said to God, Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?…And God said to Moses, I Am Who I Am and What I Am, and I Will Be What I Will Be; and He said, You shall say this to the Israelites: I Am has sent me to you!”
Exodus 3

I will Continue To Fly the Flag of my Country

I will continue to fly the flag of my country high

For the love and hope I know to have for it

I will fly the flag of my country with pride

And in defiance of those who would have me fold it away in fear and shame

For better or for worse, this is the flag that God Himself has placed as banner over me


Kenya Flag

It is not because I have not been wounded by the wounds of my country

It is not because I am less useful than you who choose to criticize my way of loving and honoring her

I have sat willingly within my beloved nation

Feeling boxed in by fear, not knowing who has targeted my brethren

Not knowing when their weapons will target me


I have gone to hospitals, visited with the sick

Attended the wakes and mourned with the families of those bereaved

I have given my blood…given my money…given my time…listened, read, cried,

I have been caught in the crossfire

Wondered where my brethren have fled to for refuge

And prayed that they find safety there to fly the flag that we bear


I have listened to words brandied as wisdom

Laced with barely concealed anger, malice, blood-lust, chauvinism, despair

Spoken by those who may not even know that their stance and agenda is visible to many

And may be twisted by many to fuel devious agenda

I have sat on my wounds, brought about by these words, resisted fueling the raging fire with irretrievable words

That keep trying to destroy my nation

That have already robbed us of neighbors, families, beloved, deeply so,

Are robbing us of the beauty that is our diversity,

The fiery words that gather within the gaps of diversity, not to bridge our sameness, but to gnaw and tear at, mock and soil our differences.

The words accuse and counter accuse camps that carry within them my own wounded brethren

Bearers of the flag I bear


I will fly the flag of my nation, as I lie on my belly, kneel down in prayer, broken and yet still living

A miracle defying the hate, the anger, the rage, the malice, the blood-lust,

I will fly the flag of my nation, believing that God still watches, and acts

And though my act of faith and hope does not to you, seem as powerful as your words,

Your anger, your position, your ability to criticize the love of those who don’t love your way

I will fly the flag of my nation, as I wipe tears from my neighbor’s face while mine flow unhindered

I will fly the flag of my nation, as I reach out my other hand to hold that of my brethren,

I will fly the flag of my nation, as I do my part, focus on it and allow you to do your part without criticizing you for not doing it like am doing it,

I will fly the flag of my nation because while I love and believe in her, my enemy has not triumphed over me,

I will fly the flag of my nation because in order to do so, I raise my hands up in supplication to The One Who will hunt down to wipe out of memory, all those that threatened to tear her down…


And there is nothing you or the devil can do to change that.

And then… I will fly the flag of my nation, when she rises above all that her enemies has thrown against her,

Because like you, my brethren, I believe enough, to do my part.

Speaking Perfectly on Pause

This week, the week just ended, has been ‘spiritually traumatizing’ for me. In a good way. Good trauma. But still as shattering as all trauma can be. I will share more on why, when God blesses me with the words to, either sooner or later. But let me give this particular one a try.

Leroy, Shukri and I are studying the life of Moses as a family…the journey that defined his answer to God’s call to Leadership. One that justified in so many ways, the forty years he spent in the dessert of Midian, taking care of his father-in-law’s sheep. Thinking about those frightening [my perspective alright?] wooly creatures that he had to adapt to after 40 indulgent years as a prince in Egypt, first of all makes me wonder about the apparent extremes that is usual in God’s Purpose Training School. That shift must have hurt Moses physically, emotionally, spiritually even in a very physical feeling way. I hope you understood that last sentence, because as of now, I don’t have any other way of putting it. If I were Moses, I would have had to get past my job description which would include watching over animals in a manner that keeps them close to me [in my world so far, I have finally acceded to the fact that human beings often are absolutely frightening and inconsistence and only sometimes, due to good things like ‘growth’… But in my book, I would still rather hold the hand of a frightening human being than the paw of a tame – ‘anything else alive that is not human’. Just in case you wondered…] So I would have had to learn to hold these wooly creatures and risk having them move as I held them, protect them maybe from other pawed creature…sometimes the clawed ones as well, in other words, get past myself and learn to love  from close up and care for them. Then, being employed by your father in law….even if he is absolutely nice, like Jethro seemed to be. That broke me too. Then one day, after 40 years of getting used to sheep moving helter-skelter in every direction possibly, apart from the one you want them to be headed or standing in; God appears to you!  As a FIRE that burns while not burning. Then speaks to you. Okay slow down and let this sink in…

It is possible that not many people had the patience to speak to you before then [which probably explains why you were given the animals to keep track of] because then you would have to respond to them. And that stammer…not to mention you are 80 years old, Hebrew-Egyptian…meaning you are probably slower of speech, retaining a foreign twang and stammering valiantly through all that. So they probably said ‘hi’ to you as they walked rapidly past you. You got used to the loneliness…then God, Who is fluent in this thing called Speech not only stops by, but seems to have been around all the time watching you and seeking your audience. And He says more than a quick ‘hi’ which would have been enough to make your whole year! You would have used that story to hold the sheep’s attention – “God stopped by and said ‘hi’ to me!”. And it did not matter if the other humans did not stop a little longer to hear you out…it would probably take too much of their time…and just so they would confirm that there was something else ‘wrong‘ with you that ‘justified’ your stammer. No, God, The Almighty, Who made all those peoples and animals and their world etc, spoke sentences and sentences to you! He had seen and favored you and was trusting you with the one thing that had made you want to disappear from the earth in the first place – to lead His chosen people out of captivity. They were not a few tens of people, but thousands of them, and they were slaves to one of the most sophisticated and powerful civilizations of the day. A civilization in which you were a Wanted Man for the murder of a kingdom official. And more than that, He is actually asking you to expose your weakness to the leader of that civilization Pharaoh: He is sending you, yes YOU the lonely-stammering- refuge- shepherd, to…SPEAK with you faithful pauses, to Pharaoh on behalf of His People! Now you probably ‘understand’ why He would stop by and talk to you when most people would not…the ‘home-time‘ bell was ringing…it was time for you to go home…to die.

So you stammer your challenges framed as polite questions back at God. He answers and sends you help. And your heart begins to trust Him again…you take to heart all He has done for you. God has shown Himself to you, and spoken to you, and given you a task that if successful would liberate a whole nation that had been slaves for 400+ years, and additionally, you would from time to time need to speak to them, to tell them what God has said. But God has sent you the best help He has. Your very own BIG BROTHER! Aaron is a big brother and would stand up for you and by you if anyone dared make fun of his kid bro. Besides, he is blessed with what you weren’t – he can speak fluently. I don’t know…but maybe he did not as a baby, have to float around a crocodile teeming river like you did, but we will understand the whole story in all Truth when we see God face to face. You feel much better about this. God and Aaron with you are the best you could hope for in this world. And it is.  What a team!  God, speaks, you stammer, Aaron translates, Pharaoh listens, pharaoh’s heart hardens, Hebrews cry out, Egyptians cry out, Pharaoh says sorry, you speak to God, God hears and brings relief, and Pharaoh changes his mind. This is repeated 9 times with increasingly devastating effects…for everyone, even the slaves hoping for redemption…and most times, you have just God and Aaron on your side. But you keep going back to the ring so to speak, for Your Master is unrelenting in His Purpose now that His Time has come. And then one day, a terrible thing happens, first-borns die. And then a terrific thing happens, Pharaoh says to you and all those slaves “GO AWAY!!!!!” And finds you all enthusiastically compliant.

There is more drama, as Pharaoh changes his mind, and dies for it. And waters open to let you through…then you are in a wilderness…leading a human species of sheep, who are given to going anywhere else than the place you are leading them to. You see, adapting from always being slaves to being free men, naturally means going to another extreme – rebellion, before they are tamed into knowing that freedom, not unlike slavery, is sustained and governed by that concept that is sometimes painful – Rules and Ethics. But not all are that way given to rebellion. For some like big brother Aaron, the issue is fear of the crowd they lead. But others like Joshua, learn courage by making it their lives’ priority, to remain God’s Presence. And God’s Glory and Grace, keeps you and all of them on His route.

Then one day He, God, speaks on your behalf, when your big brother and big sister have slandered your role as Speaker of the Nation of Israel. He says of you”

“Listen carefully to what I’m telling you.
If there is a prophet of God among you,
I make myself known to him in visions,
I speak to him in dreams.
But I don’t do it that way with my servant Moses;
he has the run of my entire house;
I speak to him intimately, in person,
in plain talk without riddles:
He ponders the very form of God.
So why did you show no reverence or respect
in speaking against my servant, against Moses?”

God for Whom you had spoken, stammered more accurately, heard the gossip on you, and summoned the culprits into His Presence, and being very angry, SPOKE on your behalf, telling the world so to speak, that He, God, trusted you as His friend!

Let me leave you with this first part of my learning in trauma… I ask you to ponder on this a while. While I while away some time, and ask God for words to speak of the rest on. Shalom.

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