The Child Would Not Die or Be Silent

How long does it take for one to forgive their mother or father for what they did to them?” the little girl asked me. I smiled, but not from amusement. I was trying not to cry. Which was impossible anyway…because ever since I had walked into this children’s home and rescue center in Nairobi my whole system had frozen. God had taken over…I had known to be in prayer about this particular assignment the whole week. I had been invited to replace Pastor Terry Gobanga who was away – and it was not really about filling her really large and excellent shoes. It was about being asked to share wisdom with about 67 children…who were there not because their parents were no longer alive, but had allegedly become predators that orphaned the children they had borne.

This was the second rescue center, mostly inhabited by children who were healing from sexual violence, that I had been asked to speak at in a month. I wondered about that. But as I held a five week old baby girl in my arms, then later looked around the circle of about 30 eyes (the rest had been excused from my session for a play session with other members of the group we had gone with), I wondered how I could answer that question. Most of us, resent those that call us to account for the way we raise our own children: Mostly because they catch us at a moment, and make it about our entire parenting. But these were not ordinary parenting moments…although it seemed that it was becoming more normalized, this was a crisis.

In this particular home, all ‘except one’ (and I shudder at the use of those two words – because it was still one too many) had been assaulted by a mother, father or uncle – biological. Most of these children were in delicate security situations since their parents’ cases were still ongoing, and there was need by some clans to either “mute or get rid of the evidence.” Most of them were girls…but there were boys too…one too many. There were others who were or had been admitted in hospital, to undergo multiple reconstructive surgeries to lend their lives some semblance of normality. Most of the girls were first borns of at least one of their parents, or their only female child. I looked at their Mum1 – the founder of this home…fourteen (14) years of mothering other people’s children in their worst states had not dimmed her life Light.

How could I answer the children? What would forgiveness look like for them? How do you answer a child who in one moment, or a hundred, had endured war in their genitals to satisfy the hungers of a parent who temporarily forgot that they were supposed to protect not prey on them? Does forgiveness mean that what happened to them was ok? That it should be forgotten? That the children should repent of these (Because they were so often stigmatized – Mum1 shared for instant how one ‘church’ had denied them baptism after going through the classes under the excuse of not being able to afford T-shirts.) Many of these children bore the brunt of these shameful acts against them again and again as they lived each breath with the rejection of the extended families to which they had once belonged – who had perhaps initially celebrated their births and birthdays – who now wanted to forget them for the shame they are accused of bringing home. “For why hadn’t they just died instead of crying out, or getting pregnant, getting an important benefactor and family member whose quaint habits could be ignored into ‘disrepute’ or incarceration for ‘just’ a moment? Why wouldn’t they just let this go and keep up the facade?” This seemed to be the attitude their families had towards them.  What exactly would forgiveness mean for these?

The nightmares needed to end, the healing to come. Forgiveness may be about the offender (e.g. When God forgives our sins it puts us in the best place with Him), but it’s more about the offended (Humanly speaking). You forgive even when the fault is not confessed or admitted to because if allowed to – one offense can define the rest of your life in the worst ways possible. Unforgiveness often translates to meditating on an offence and giving it the power to shut down the functioning of what is still functional in us to hit back at the offender and survive the offense. Meditating constantly on what was done to you gives a grievous injury even more power over you than  it had initially. It can colour, darken everything…take away your smile…your life. I cannot remember what I said to them, because I was praying a lot, and asking God to speak to His little ones.  But they smiled…and they spoke…and they gave me strength as well. There was nothing God could not heal. It was hard leaving the home, leaving them behind to go be with my own household…I had intended to leave by 2pm. I was there till 6:30pm. It was hard to leave these little ones that because they still suffered from parenting wounds had become part of my own story. Their hugs, the whispered stories after the main session, the tears they allowed me to see, and the feel of them as they held onto me while I prayed for them – made them mine – indelibly. As I left though, I realized that they were indeed in the best place they could be for now, having been rescued and that for this moment were truly safer because they cried out and refused to die.

But somewhere in this same neighborhood, in this country, in this globe, other children were unfortunately starting the journey they were walking. I prayed that their parents would be hit by Heaven’s Might, that they would not put their babies through this, and that the babies who had gone through this, would find Hope again, find God, in parental touches by those in whose hands God would place them in. I don’t know…

vipslit@yahoo.ca

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Negative Words of Hope

Maybe you have looked at your life lately and noticed that all your pillars seem to be falling apart. Sometimes its NOT about preparing your ground for a ripe harvest and beautiful new season. Sometimes, you need to make peace with God, who is as Terrible as He is Merciful. I learnt the following today, with a heart that trembled at His Words as I journey through the book of Ezekiel (25 & 26). I hope you read with a listening, and submissive heart…towards God.
If you,
1. have been privileged at one time or other, to be within an intimate circle of trust or vision with a child of God whether as a family, friend, colleague, fellow minister and pilgrim, media consumer and…
2. felt satisfied with the destruction of a called one, or nation, or tribe who had rebelled against God “… Because you said, ‘Aha!’ against My sanctuary when it was profaned, and against the land of Israel when it was desolate,”
3. Rejoiced gleefully when you witnessed God’s dealing with one of His own in judgement, to despise them… “Because you clapped your hands, stamped your feet, and rejoiced in heart with all your disdain for the land of Israel.”
4. Made nonsense of God’s election of a particular person on group of people during the time of their distress, to pronounce them as common, not really special etc ““Because Moab and Seir say, ‘Look! The house of Judah is like all the nations,”
5. took advantage of a person’s or group of person’s distress when God’s favor seemed to desert them, to avenge yourself of real or imagined/fabricated wrongdoing at this time, i.e. kicking them while they were down. You believed them hated and unprotected of God because of their predicament in the land and added to their pain due to your previous disapproval of them…”Because of what Edom did against the house of Judah by taking vengeance, and has greatly offended by avenging itself on them…Because the Philistines dealt vengefully and took vengeance with a spiteful heart, to destroy because of the old hatred,”
You need to seriously consider making peace with God. When a loving parent disciplines their child to draw them back to himself or herself, there is appropriate response by witnesses, and this never includes, picking up crude artillery against them, trying to fan the parent’s anger, trying to convince the child that their parent no longer loves them and they are strangers to them, or even stomping them down with your heavy duty boots to rid the parent of their obvious disappointment at their child. If you do these…it is against you the parent will unleash His anger…without leaving their child un-taught. God is not dysfunctional as God, Father, Leader, and in all His Sovereignty. You need to make peace with God…believe Him to be The Best Parent you have ever had the privilege of coming across…There is yet another group that God’s Hand is Targeting
6. If you have ever seen the destruction of someone else, a nation, organisation, business, ministry, marriage, family, friendship, as an opportunity to exalt yourself into a place of privilege, especially when these were ordained and established in God, for you there will be a special hell on earth. People will come from high places to tremble at your own descent for it will be obvious that God has dealt Himself against you. Ezekiel 26 “…because Tyre has said against Jerusalem, ‘Aha! She is broken who was the gateway of the peoples; now she is turned over to me; I shall be filled; she is laid waste.”
God’s paternity is not seasonal…let us return to Him to request that He amputates, and delivers us of that stubborn limb in us that perpetually seeks and rejoices in the shaming and destruction of others…or else…you will know Him as God, as you feel His Hand turned against you.
#NegativeWordsOfHope
#Ezekiel25
#Ezekiel26
#AncientWordsEverTrue
#GodsEternalCommitementToHisOwn
#AppropriateNeighborliness
vipslit@yahoo.ca

Why Even Pray for Them?

There are many reasons to STOP PRAYING for them, genuine, just reasons. Ones that anyone would understand. Primarily, they don’t really think that its useful…and besides, why would Almighty God even stop to listen to someone of whom they think so little, as they do you? I mean, they have it more together. What could you possibly have to tell God on their behalf, that they would not do better on their own – or at least someone else they think is more suitable? They may cause you great harm even to stop you from praying…and gather enough around them to make them feel right about doing so.

God has given me many reasons why I should CONTINUE PRAYING for them. Its not for their applause really…never has been about that. But more about His intent…His True Heart…”For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” John 3:17 NKJV and “The Lord does not delay [as though He were unable to act] and is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is [extraordinarily] patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 2:9 AMP. It got me thinking, that when I want anything else for someone God created, am desiring contrary to Him…and what does that make me if not an anti-Christ? Hmmm

So this morning He gave me, reminded me, of one more reason to pray for…my family, my friends,, my neighbors, my country, my world, my employer, my colleagues, and yes, even the ones who hate me so much, they would not want me mentioning their names lovingly before God. If I don’t, if I am the only one able to, or even willing to and I don’t, and anything happens to them that could have been prevented by my praying…heavy responsibility…but in His own words…” “I looked for someone to stand up for Me against all this, to repair the defenses of the city, to take a stand for Me and stand in the gap to protect this land so I wouldn’t have to destroy it. I couldn’t find anyone. Not one. So I’ll empty out My wrath on them, burn them to a crisp with My hot anger, serve them with the consequences of all they’ve done. Decree of God, the Master.”
Ezekiel 22:31-32 The Message (MSG)

vipslit@yahoo.ca

LESSONS FROM THE LABOR WARD

I spent last night and early this morning at a labor ward with a close friend whose husband was away on a trip. The labor ward has a lot of lessons for those who wait in prayer in The LORD.

I learnt that because you get in first, does not mean that you get out first or at all, or even get blessed first. Sometimes, one looses their expectation at this crucial time.

I learnt that, in the labor ward, modesty of dress and manner is really not priority. The less you have on, the easier it is to remove, the better you will be attended to. Ignore those that mock you in your birthing hour…they are the ones who are inappropriate.

I learnt that when you pray for release, and the pain seems to increase, and your groans seem to choke up your prayers, God is still in charge, and at His exact timing, He answers your prayer according to His Will.

I learnt that sometimes the more human assistance you require and receive at this crucial place of birthing, the longer it takes you to heal from the trauma of it all.

I learnt that when you hold the answer to your prayers in your arms, it is often very difficult to remember what you just went through, and if you focus on the past, it keeps you from enjoying and worshiping God for the breakthrough you have received.

I learnt that something you go through may be potentially fatal, but does no harm to you or your blessing – but one may be harmed in seeming safety.

I learnt that you may be in the same situation with another in the ward, even groan at the very same time, but that even when someone is there to hold you, the pain still is very personal…and cannot be numbed simply by being in like company.

I learnt, that God raises who He Wills to intercede for your birthing experience, that others may want to be there for you, but are kept out because He is The Writer of your story.

I learnt that the intercessor will notice others that suffer like you, but because they are called to stand with you, they can not stand with the others there too. Not in the way they are with you anyway.

I learnt that you may know its time, the intercessor may know its time, but it is God who moves the mountains to work in agreement with His timing for you. You cannot make it happen, because though there for you, there are not really there for you…but for themselves.

I learnt that in labor ward, it helps to focus on the task of birthing. Just that.

I am grateful that God raised me, and strengthened me and moved me to be in a place of His revelation, then rested me afterwards.

Merry Seasonal Divorces

The ‘season to be merry’ can sometimes be the season where ‘Joseph is quietly planning to put Mary away’. Not kill her, although it feels like it, but to divorce her or act like he is not married or in a relationship with her. And the pendulum swings the other way too. Mary may have found a good reason to leave Joseph as well. It looks sometimes like ‘merry’ can be with someone else, and impossible with ‘your regular’. Your heart, your esteem gets tired of being thrown around…or of being associated with someone who does not seem to look like ‘Christmas Lights’ no matter what angle you dim your eyes, your perspective to view them with… God knows you have tried. So does the devil, and he in particular has this particular knack of sliding someone ‘better’ between the cracks of your disillusionment and heartbreak. Greener grass so to speak…That total male or female that always made your nerve endings go ‘giddiyup’ is suddenly looking your way, and looking really, totally, delicious in the oasis kind of way…hmmm.
 
Hmm, a lot of my friends are celebrating marriage anniversaries this month and in the next. And sometimes when they drop the numbers…I look at them with new respect… “How did you do it?” No matter how cosy a couple look together, especially when they look cosy and have been married or together a while…they have been tested…severely so. They deserve a trophy for keeping on, a badge…am humbled by them. They stood. Ok, some are perpetual strays but they have a life-mate who is sturdy, home – stays put…and to these warriors, I want to be around, a witness when God makes His pronouncement about your life and faithfulness to your post – it will be worth it.
 
So if the devil is trying to teach your sturdy heart a lesson or two on being a stray…[truth is, with the spouse you have now, no one who knows the ‘whole story’ would blame you for taking a short stroll in the park] I wont tell you not to follow your heart or your nerve tips…I will just share a word that my great friend shared with me this morning that got me rushing back to post…
 
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.” Jeremiah 17:9-10
 
and this one is from me to you
 
“You who are young, make the most of your youth. Relish your youthful vigor. Follow the impulses of your heart. If something looks good to you, pursue it. But know also that not just anything goes; You have to answer to God for every last bit of it.” Ecclesiastes 11:9
vipslit@yahoo.ca

The Blessing of the Hollering Church Next Door

The angel of the Lord came the second time and touched him and said, Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you. So he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and nights to Horeb, the mount of God.” 1 Kings 19

Moses told the people, Fear not; stand still (firm, confident, undismayed) and see the salvation of The LORD which He will work for you today. For the Egyptians you have seen today you shall never see again. The LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest.” Exodus 14 AMP

538719997_0e94c9b29aThere are days that it seems like both Pharaoh and Jezebel are in hot pursuit of you, negating the work, Word and Might of God Almighty in your life: those closest to you as well as those who don’t really like you, have become pall bearers helping you carry your dream to the grave-yard, confirming that it is useless to believe anymore. “Accept the dream is dead…and bury it already before it begins to stink and becomes a health hazard to everyone around”, they seem to say. We’ve all been there sometime or other, with different conclusions to our individual stories. I am there this week. God seems late, again. I need your prayers.

Still, that’s not my story today – it’s about the church across my living room, kitchen and bedroom window: remember that one? The one that ‘humos‘ (Luo word for holler’s, yell’s, wail’s, etc) the Word and Worship day and night. I had a hard night yesterday, and hardly had the energy to get up. But I did, and was making my bed, seeking solace in the soft gentle worship on the radio – Hope fm – when they began the ‘DU-DU-UDU!’ of their keyboard and a sole worshiper began to thrill heaven and irritate the earth by hollering into the mic attached to heavy speakers that should be used in a Stadium not in a residential estate…and am standing there, raw, beaten, no energy to even get a little irritated…got a mop and began to clean the house using it partly as a crutch.

Anyway, God heard me and the lights in the estate went off…glorious silence for about 45 minutes then to my joy and elation, they came back. And then, DU-DU-DUUUUUUU….DU -DU-DUUUUU the singing continued. I continued moving around the house with the mop – and it was getting clean somehow. After a while, the singing let up and the preaching began…The words sifted through my troubled thoughts and began to fight them, and somehow I was not actually mopping the house, then did the dishes, then just tamed my house. I thank God for His word through the hollering church today. Pharaoh, Jezebel and the pall bearers will be sending out their cvs today-if they can survive the battle heaven has waged against them, as they are now jobless with regard to my life. Let me not lie, I am still reeling from their wounds…but I heard The Truth, and I have hauled my cross on my shoulders, joyfully, even though am slowed by the journey to the cross, grave…but am headed towards a resurrection, an ascension and towards watching earth from the view point of Heaven. I am, after all, more than a Conqueror in Christ Jesus! Thanking God for DU-DU-DUUUUU!!!! :D.SONY DSC

vipslit@yahoo.ca

MY HEARTS CRY FOR 2013

After a really really eventful last day of the year, and a night-time in which I was to weary to cry, pray, talk to anyone, or even worship…I wake up wrapped in the Grace of God….joyful, triumphant, hopeful. My cry is for you and I to be restored back from all the places to which we strayed, sometimes in an attempt to seek sanity away from The Presence of God. There is no soundness of mind apart from Him as we cannot ‘out-wise’ God. That is just the way it is.

SONY DSCMy Hearts cry begins with ‘Those whom God has put together…” and ends with ‘…LET NONE PUT ASUNDER’. I have cried for myself and for many others, as I watched them grope around trying to find a stable place to place their broken hearts and lives, after their homes were torn, sometimes by their own hands. I have watched them try to put their lives back together, after God-ordered and ordained relationships crumbled…and they thought they could easily get fixed if they connected to another partner. I have watched people walk away from their divine connections, in ministry, in vocation, in careers, in friendships, jobs, and businesses, because satan appointed and anointed an expert to slander the intent of God in bringing them together. I have watched as nations tore themselves and others apart by the same satanic slander of God…and His purpose for putting a set of diverse peoples together as one nation.

My cry this first day of January 2013 is a reminder to satan and his agents that they are defeated, and that I, VIP KNOW IT TO BE THE TRUTH! I know at least one other person, who does. So because we are in agreement…The ones that have strayed are coming home, repentant and forgiven!. God is bringing back that which He has ordained to be, and the purpose of His Spoken Word will be accomplished. Go back to Him…What God has put together CANNOT and WILL NOT be sustained independently of Him. Let us go back to God.

““Come on, let’s go back to God.
He hurt us, but He’ll heal us.
He hit us hard,
but He’ll put us right again.
In a couple of days we’ll feel better.
By the third day He’ll have made us brand-new,
Alive and on our feet,
fit to face Him.
We’re ready to study God,
eager for God-knowledge.
As sure as dawn breaks,
so sure is His daily arrival.
He comes as rain comes,
as spring rain refreshing the ground.”
Hosea 1:1-3

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