The Day Sanity Called to Bury Faith
January 31, 2012 2 Comments
Last night, the pall bearers were banging on my door…along with the spiritual health authorities. They were urging me to open my door…the door to my soul, the door to God’s Hiding place within me so they could carry away the dead thing I was anxiously willing to live. I don’t know if you can call something that has never lived, a dead thing, but what else can I call it…the unborn? the undead? I have no idea. But the pall bearers and spiritual health authorities seemed convinced that I was harboring a vile thing. So along with their gadgets hanging ready to bury away my thing, they had experts, new counselors here to convince me that I was out of my mind believing I could do anything to change my status and the status of the vile thing I was harboring in my house.
I was not alone in the house. In fact, there was a group of old friends, leaning against the locked door, busy doing their thing. Looking at us, one would actually wonder about the wisdom in the methods of the health and sanitation experts outside my door…I will come back to this later. If you don’t get it. You see, my geriatric friends Abraham with his wife Sarah he had a knife in his hand and she was knitting booties in her old age; Isaac and his wife Rebecca – he was on his knees praying for God to open his wife’s womb and she was knitting two sets of booties; Hannah the wife of Elkanah – on her knees tear rolling down her face and mumbling on mute in the temple; Elizabeth the wife of Zechariah – she was knitting booties and encouraging the young that God’s unusual Word was true and that the blessing was in the believing, Mary the wife of Joseph – who was risking death row because an angel had brought her news that contradicted the law and traditions of her people ; Job suddenly childless, poor, sick and brokenhearted saying again “though He slay me, yet will I trust Him – Naked I came into this world and naked will I return, blessed be The Name of The Lord; Elijah pouring water on an altar he was expecting God to light, Elisha sending Naaman away to dip himself on dirty in Jordan river to be cleansed of a deadly skin disease…there were many – Bartemeus calling out to Jesus to make him see much to the annoyance of the crowd that had more important issues to present before Him…and the widow – a mother whose only son had once been carried off by pall bearers. actually those were the ones I could see from my bowed position and who made the greatest commotion shouting back at the the health officials outside my window. If the said officials were wise, they should have just gotten a court order to declare my house a mental hospital of the ‘foolish’. And barred us in from outside…but they not really thinking…
Peninah my rival was outside …I think her laughter at my acts of prayer and devotion is what drew the attention of the health officials. And there was beloved Elkanah, wise in his own way, perplexed that I would dare ask for more since God has already blessed me with one thing or another. He called me ungrateful. But he was not inside me…he did not know that the desire within me was like the fire that God sent to Elijah once a long time ago…or the fiery chariots that lifted him from the vision of mere men. The pall bearers wanted me back in their camp, my stand was making them uncomfortable, they looked bad. People knew they were associated with me – closely so. And my insistence on this pathway would not possibly do them justice at the high end of society’s’ balance. Not as the foolish woman’s relative or friend. It was matter of urgency for them to inject some sense into my foolish head…not caring if it killed me. They just wanted the stain of my uncommon act deleted from everyone’s memory. So they banged, begged, they cajoled, they threatened, and they tried to convince my companions in the room to step aside and leave me with ‘that thing I was holding onto so it would kill me’. The crowd outside seemed bigger than the one inside.
As my frustration gave vent to piteous wailing from the very depth of my being, Elisha whispered to me “Take heart Vip. Open your eyes and see. There are more on our side, on the inside than those on the outside. And then Jeremiah and Bartemeus called to me from the door, “Vip! CALL ON HIM! SHOUT VIP! DONT GIVE UP! IGNORE THE NOISE AND MAKE NOISE!!”. They startled me. Elizabeth came and told me “Vip, you will be blessed abundantly just for believing that what He told you is true”. Peter, James and John were tugging their nets as though something heavy was inside. They called out, “Do it again Vip, He is not lying to you! Do it again just because He has asked you to. What could you possibly have to loose.” They spoke the truth…there was nothing left, except a dying ember of hope and a weak will for which I may as well use to believe Him with. And suddenly Jesus was there in the room with us. He turned to me, looked at me with such love and compassion and stretched His nail-scared hands my way “Favored one, daughter of my favor, Vip, do not sorrow any more: I am here, I never left you. I am willing. Ask Me, that I may answer you beyond all you could imagine, so that your joy may be full.”
I could no longer hear the spiritual health workers. The room was full of testimonies and their bearers, and yet there was just Jesus and I in that whole room. I was on my knees before Him, still crying, and the words came “Favor of my heart, my Joy Eternal, yes, You are Able; Yes You want to bless me. And because You have asked me to, I am praying one more prayer, one more prayer, one more prayer….for I now believe, and my joy is full. As I prayed…Peninah still laughed and Elkanah still gently continued his insults to my need…but inside, there was joy. I added…”My life is already Yours, and what I need is already Yours for Your Pleasure and mine…whatever that means to you Lord of my life.” And suddenly Abraham was there in my line of vision, smiling understanding…but it was the smile in the Face of God that held my gaze. As the ‘foolishness mental hospital’ was instantly turned into ‘The House of God; The Place of Worship”. No one and nothing is being buried here today…
shalom…
vipslit@yahoo.ca