Talking to God

Let me just begin my saying that these are thoughts which I share with great humility and in the knowledge that while I have repented and whenever possible tried to make restitution for the same, I still have a lot to verbally apologize for over this issue. I therefore think and share as one who is a learner not an expert…honestly, ONLY GOD is Expert over this one.
Its respectful to think through what we want to say holistically before we speak. What are the various meanings that can be deduced from the things we say? How would I receive the message if I were the intended audience of my words – knowing what I know about where they come from. I have never known which words wound more grievously, between words we speak deliberately or those without any thought but with a lot of vehemence, pride and self righteousness intended to mute out any value our hearers have in order to win a debate. “You cannot actually think you have anything to say when I/we feel so strongly about this.” kinda statements.
God is The Person in Whose Image we are created. Yet He is incomparably higher. As we speak, He receives the entire message – knowing our intentions, expectations, attitudes etc accurately. He understands totally our message and yet He warns us not to go to Him carelessly, with many words (which Proverbs says are rarely without sin), making promises intended to evoke action from Him without any intentions on our part of making good on the same – basically – in His words – to offer the sacrifice of fools. He asks that we go to Him in full consciousness of Who He is, and yet in the confidence He provides in His Spirit that He deeply desires to hear from us and to be The Answer we seek in every way.
It with this in my Learner mind that I was looking at some Prayer Points lovingly sent my way, asking God if these are the words He would be pleased to hear from me over the situation at hand. My attention was netted/trapped by the word ‘vomit’ in reference to an action I would want God to induce over my enemy – spirit and human – over virtues stolen from my life. This was immediately followed by the question from the very depth of me “Eueeeewwwww….So I can then do what with them?”I know this probably means ‘they’ (enemy forces) are relieved of these so that they are no longer satisfied by what was intended to be mine – and in this way I will pray it (along with gag them, constipate them, drown them, but mainly have mercy on them as you have had over me, but NEVER so that I then ingest it. I KNOW that God is ABLE to recreate my virtues from and by His words and Hands without me scouring through human on spiritual digestive produces in order to heal, restore or satisfy my thirsts and hungers.
I am forgiven for every time I thoughtlessly threw these words at God hoping for a positive response without true thought. I asked Him and He promises in His word to forgive when I repent. And I KNOW God has not run out of mercy for the rest of us. Lets remember the truly privileged (this isn’t even the right word to cover the true worth – there are none) place God has proffered us in coming to Him with words that are directed at Him. Shalom.
vipslit@yahoo.ca

“But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” Jesus Christ in Mathew 12:36-37

“Walk prudently when you go to the house of God; and draw near to hear rather than to give the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they do evil.
Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; therefore let your words be few. For a dream comes through much activity, and a fool’s voice is known by his many words.
When you make a vow to God, do not delay to pay it; for He has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you have vowed—Better not to vow than to vow and not pay.
Do not let your mouth cause your flesh to sin, nor say before the messenger of God that it was an error. Why should God be angry at your excuse and destroy the work of your hands? For in the multitude of dreams and many words there is also vanity. But fear God.” Ecclesiastes 5:1-7

Seeking True Order

This morning I was seeking God about the environmental etc chaos within and around where we currently live. I was pleading with Him to make Providence for us to move to better – He had indicated this as His will for us.

As I talked to Him my heart was raised to His Presence in worship. I wondered how I would ever live on the earth after truly experiencing the Order of His Presence. An Order that scoffs at our understanding of ‘ultimate order’ on the earth – as its beginning far supersedes the highest peak of our understanding of and the actualization of that term.

Well, the words ‘Thy Kingdom Come’ came to my spirit and with them, an understanding. You see, in the same way that sin defiles, decays, corrupts a nation; so does true worship bring The Order we were created for into manifestation. I again understood that for that Divine Order to come into my environment, my workplace, my home, wherever I set my foot, mind, heart to, I needed to join in the ultimate worship of The Presence. Right where I am placed now.

God DOES inhabit the praises of His people, and where He dwells nothing remains the same. I asked myself if I had worshiped God truly – in spirit and truth – to allow for Him to inhabit me and all around me 🙆🏽😢. May we be lifted into His Presence this Day, to rededicate our Love, Awe and Submission. And may we in that place carry with us, wherever He should lead us, the essence of the Wholeness of His Dwelling Place, for we are His living temples. Shalom.

vipslit@yahoo.ca

Deciding Tears

Was reading Judges 19-21 wishing I wasn’t all the while that I was. For me, its hands down, the most terrible story in the Bible. Remember the one about the Levite and his concubine? Always leaves me…in another not so good place… for days after I read it.
Anyway, I learnt from it how a single decision, a deeply personal decision, can affect a nation – in devastating ways. Without giving all the details, so the story goes, a woman decides her lover is not enough for her, finds another then takes off home to her Daddy. Her lover, a priest decides that he cannot live without her, leaves his duty post and goes off to woe her. The woman softens her stance and decides to take the priest – her lover – to meet her daddy. Her daddy decides he really likes this one…and decides to keep him for a few days – longer than the priest planned to stay, since he has a job to return to. On the fifth day, the priest decides to break free from his darling’s daddy’s manipulation and return home late in the afternoon. Home is not close by, so the priest decides to take refuge among those like himself – it would be too dangerous to find lodging among those unlike himself. After hanging out in the Quad for some time, an old man takes pity on him especially upon learning that the priest is from his original home, and decides to take the priest, his wife, his servant and two donkeys home with him.
Some time in the night, some young men decide the priest is too irresistible a guest not to be intimately partaken of – in a sexual way. They howl at the old man’s door and finally the priest’s resolve breaks…and he…throws out the woman he has gone through extended leave to bring back home. He decides it is better her than him…and the men glut on her…internally break her to pieces. She decides to crawl back to the old man’s house and dies face down with one arm penitently stretched into the threshold of the house. Her lover, the priest, decides to take off from this place as early as he can, but has to step over her to get onto his donkey – he decides to finish the journey with her body. Back home, not at work, he decides to break her remains into twelve parts and send this to the twelve tribes of Israel. Israel decides to come to him, to find out why. The priest tweaks his story a little, he decides to, so that the villains do not include him, but are those lustful sons of Benjamin…. Benjamin decides not to release the criminals…after all they are a super power unto themselves and can take on the nations of Israel single-handedly. They after all posses the war personnel to shame all warriors, and it was possibly against their national policy to surrender their nationals to those who are not Benjamin…even when they had committed crimes against humanity.
Well – God saw one of His little girls die…took into account her last moments and decides to arise – The Avenger, the Man of War…God The Just Judge…nothing escapes Him. Before the week is over, about 90,000 of a nation’s best warriors are in eternity. And they are not just from the offending tribe’s side. A daughter of Israel died. More than this, an entire tribe is wiped out leaving just 600 hiding behind a rock. Israel mourns one of their own…and decide to rebuild that tribe. 600 young women are not asked whether they would choose to participate in this ‘noble’ endeavor…a town is wiped out of all its inhabitants save 400 ‘useful’ virgins. 200 hundred others are basically kidnapped as they dance at a religious festival. Decisions were made by their kinsmen…and they are the ‘clean-up team’. For life. They did well…Israel’s first king came from these chaos and ashes. Because in their day, Israel had no king, and everyone did as they chose to.
May my one decision, a breath at a time, always Lord, be an echo of Your Wisdom, and birth Healing, Life, Resurrection, Order, Peace…produce what is like You. Shalom.
vipslit@yahoo.ca

‘Nyasaye Ramafundu’

Am reading through Genesis 14 and the words that keep coming in my spirit – in worship – are ‘Nyasaye Ramafundu’. Not flattering on their own – and seemingly contradictory because how can The Almighty and Holy God be perplexingly uncouth at the same time? Actually the two words perplexingly uncouth do not adequately encapsulate the depth of the Luo word ‘ramafundu’ – but its a beginning.
 
Am looking at God in His identity as Commander of His hosts – The Living God. He has liberated His own and He is leading them home…but they keep camping within Egypt at His leading. To those watching them, they seem confused, undecided, as though they are flirting with the idea of going back into captivity…but they are truly led of God. He leads them to a point governed by a popular but offensive deity. Pharaoh is now probably laughing at them – believing them to be lost and easy prey. he probably thinks that they are like him, quick to forget the searing punishment that Egypt has suffered for trying to retain this very same people…but Egypt will remember. Very soon.
 
On Israel’s part- they are actually thinking of going back, believing themselves to have been duped by God; drawn out to die in the wilderness. They follow God and His servant, mostly with barely concealed hostile mistrust of His intentions. They do not see His battle plan – that He is fighting for them and that they are on the verge of one of the most memorable breakthroughs of all time.
 
Anyway – ‘Nyasaye Ramafundu’ – God is perplexingly uncouth: He allows Egypt to pursue Israel on their fastest and best vehicles…and then begins to cause mayhem right in the middle of Israel’s breakthrough. He throws off Pharaoh and his army’s wheels as they ride along. God does not have to fight conventionally…truth is, there is no set pattern by which He fights. The Creator is creative even in battle. Egypt finally gets its but its too late…“Let us flee from the face of Israel, for the Lord fights for them against the Egyptians.”vs 25. Be wary of the seeming or sometimes actual confusion of those being led by God on a way that you have never been. it may just save you life to hesitate before you pursue them with words and actions that you are sure would destroy them…confidence that is not backed by God is just that – unbacked by God.
#TheLivingGod #GodofWar #AlmightyandTerrible #NyasayeRamafundu
vipslit@yahoo.ca

Harvest Pursuit

What did you do with your elevation – your promotion? Did you use it to build or destroy lives? When we are or seem to be at an advantage, what we choose to embrace to the harm of another has the tendency of ‘imagining’ that we desire it for ourselves: it then begins its pursuit to be established in our lives – pressed down, shaken together and to the overflow. It’s not therefore always the system, witch or satanic agent pursuing you – but your own harvest. I implore us, to be careful how and what we are tempted to sow into the lives of others especially those we have judged adversely (as forsaken, powerless or wanting in some way)…because Life ensures that we reap…unless of cause, genuine repentance is met by God’s Amazing Grace. Shalom.
 
““Because you have had an ancient hatred, and have shed the blood of the children of Israel by the power of the sword at the time of their calamity, when their iniquity came to an end, therefore, as I live,” says the Lord God, “I will prepare you for blood, and blood shall pursue you; since you have not hated blood, therefore blood shall pursue you.
 
“I will do according to your anger and according to the envy which you showed in your hatred against them; and I will make Myself known among them when I judge you. Then you shall know that I Am The LORD. I have heard all your blasphemies which you have spoken against the mountains of Israel, saying, ‘They are desolate; they are given to us to consume.’ Thus with your mouth you have boasted against Me and multiplied your words against Me; I have heard them.”
 
‘Thus says The LORD God: “The whole earth will rejoice when I make you desolate. As you rejoiced because the inheritance of the house of Israel was desolate, so I will do to you; you shall be desolate, O Mount Seir, as well as all of Edom—all of it! Then they shall know that I Am The LORD.” “
Ezekiel 35:5-6, 11-15

Mud in the House of God

Its been weeks of this…pain…increasing pain, escalating pain –  and then its been a week of intense pain.  I am sitting at a women’s meeting in a church near where I have walked my walk of faith for the last seven years. The worship has bought me peace but the pain, the darkness that clings tenaciously around my heart and head. I deny the weariness I have felt. The onset of my menses come with the call from God and His chosen servant to go in a fast, for this in indeed the gong of a new season. I have danced this morning, for the songs God chose for His daughters this day, resonate with the balm my entire life craves. I am not trying to impress God, nor any of His daughters…am fighting to find Him in this situation. I want to see my Daddy Eternal.

You see, with the silence of family- of friends, with the advice that I have received that points more to the grave…echoes the hollow taste of being useless to the world because you have measured your life by the standards of a system under which you no longer operate. I hear in my mind – a lot – “Did God really say that to you?” “But that is not really God’s MO.” “If this is how God treats you, then I would not follow Him.” “You are foolish to throw your entire lot with Him – you must leave Him just a little and throw your whole lot into surviving this world.” And the ache of hearing the comforted comfortable with whom I have stood saying to me “Your life is worth nothing without money – now look, where will you and your family live.”

I look down at my shoes, cheap rubber shoes, precious to me for they are a sign of a walk I have taken with my God. They remind me of the day God took me to view a house in an area I would never have afforded,even if i had turned my back to Him when He took me on this beloved stroll. They remind me of the many places, the many gates I have knocked, the many doors slammed on my face, the trips to my ATM – hoping and them weeping. They remind me of the morning, earlier this week, when I dared try take a step without them and ended up back home in less than five minutes with muddy sewage clinging on my sandled feet, all the way up my thighs, and up my beautiful orange dress and my sleeveless arms after falling into a pool that stood between me and the place I needed to get to. They remind me of both my yielded obedience, and my attempts at rebellion. They have dust atop and mud on their soles. I look at the floor around my feet and the black sooty mud particles that have soiled the portion around where I danced before weariness took over.

I look at the room full of women, and the aches of their journeys, their triumphs and their defeats crowd in on me. I begin to pray for them. I talk to their Father and mine, I ask Him to meet them here, because they woke up this cold morning to meet Him. I join in to their ululations, their worship of The King of kings, I sit down to listen to the woman of God. Then my phone rings and I see that its Daddy calling and the dams break for me. For the last eight weeks since this orgy of pain begun, i have longed to see his name on my ringing phone – I have longed for his voice telling me that it would be well…but there has been silence. And now I am not able to take his call. The tears escape and flow fast onto my dark blue skirt as I disconnect and text him a short message “I am in church.” I find out later, that he had not really called – his android reached out to me in error. But by then, I am frozen from all the weeping I  have done before The Throne of my Eternal Daddy. Why hasn’t He come? Why is my rescue and that of my family taking so long?

I look to my feet…there is sooty mud under my cheap but faithful rubber shoes…and I have caught the eyes of those that try not to stare at them – the combined dust and mud that have encased my feet. I have a race to run. I rest.

vipslit@yahoo.ca

My One Time at a Time

Many times, you cannot imagine it getting to where you hope it will not: then it does, and God Alone holds you as you take a step at a time. A breath at a time. A word at a time. A tear at a time. A smile at a time. An ache at a time. A lifetime at a time. Sometimes a kick at a time, a setback at a time, an insult at a time, then back to a breath at a time, and His Embraces – one at a time.
Hope has endured. I look at another sunset, and the horrors of the night it heralds, but also the amazing view of what God’s words alone can create and sustain as I look at the moon, the stars, the clouds and sometimes encounter creatures that He made to conquer the nights.
So its gotten here, excruciatingly so, but how else would I have known His enduring Love, Might and Friendship here, if I hadn’t walked this night with Him? So I take another step, another breath, take in another bout of pain, block another onslaught of fear in His Might and allow His Word to take me in and hold me and mine within His Promise, Himself. I rest. I rest. In His Everlasting Arms. I rest.
vipslit@yahoo.ca
%d bloggers like this: